Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mad Genious

So, I decided that I'm a mad genious. I've always been like this, but I'm only just now coming to grips with it. Take, for instance, today. I tried to get into my bank account via online banking. As usual, I couldn't remember the answer to one of our challenge questions. The question was "What color was your first car?" My wife and I set that question up when I was in a very tough military school in Florida. By tough, I mean there is a 35% graduation rate. Needless to say, I was often completely fragged when I got home. Like, except for school and the birth of my oldest daughter, I don't actually remember much about living in Florida. I remember getting there, the things I learned in order to do my job, baby, and then driving up to Missouri after graduation. That's it. That's how bad it was. So, there was no way that I would ever be able to remember a silly thing like what I entered for a stupid challenge question about colors and cars. I honestly doubt I was coherant enough to really think about the question. So, today, being sick of always getting that question wrong, I actually looked up what I had put way back then. I did not put any color. Nope. I'll tell you later what I actually put. Heh. I could just imagine that conversation with M___, my wife, when I did it. Picture us sitting in our neighbors' bedroom (we were too poor to have our own internet, and for some reason I remember where the neighbor that let us use theirs kept it; weird, I know), arguing about what we should put as our challenge question. "I think we should put red," M___ would have said, "as that is the color of YOUR first car, and this was technically your account before it was ours." "Nope," I would have answered. "How 'bout green, the color of the car that we first got as a family?" "Nope again, my fairest of women (seriously, M___, if you read this, that's how I think, even if I don't say it all that much)." "Blue, then? We had that little car of mine...?" By now, I think M___ was getting really confused. I think that happens a lot when she talks to me.... Weird. Anyways, she was grasping for straws now. "Again, Sweetest, wrong. What we'll do, see, is this: we'll put what KIND of car we first owned a couple. Any schmoe can guess a color. It's just a matter of going down the list. Car will be our code word to remember, like a hint." She would have looked at me dubiously. For some reason, she does that often.... "Don't worry, Loveliest, I'll remember. I got this." And here we are, 5 years later, just re-figuring it out. You see, I never took into account my mad genious. In my frazzled state, I reverted back to my natural state, or the basic me-ness that I had, and came up with a mad genious plan! Nice. I rule.

Another mad genious was Tesla. Nikola Tesla. one of the awesomest mad genious bad-asses of all time, to be sure. A real mad scientist. Go
to read a really cool and funny descrition of Tesla by author Ben Thompson. And get his book (I figure that if I promote his book and his site, he'll forgive me for linking him without permission.) Anyways, the dude, Tesla, was a mad genious, like me. Maybe I should show my fandom of Tesla by wearing a shirt that says "Nikola's Fanboys" with a picture of a Tesla coil. Would there be any interest, besides me, a fellow mad genious, in any shirts like that? Let me know.

Anyways, I think me and Tesla would have been good friends, because we could actually converse on a level that mere mortals couldn't comprehend. Or arch rivals, because we're both mad geniouses. I prefer to believe that we would be friends, though. Until next time!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Raven-Wolf?

"The Raven-Wolf? Why ever would a person want that to be their name? It's so... dark, so... yeah." That might be what you're asking yourself, and, by extension, me. Well, here's my answer: So? Actually, I do have a good reason. A long time ago, I was exploring spirit animals. Now, I'm not saying that I was trying to set myself in a trance and explore "the other side," but that I was trying to learn more about myself by deciding which animals I was most drawn to and their sub-conscious meanings. To my dismay, I was not drawn to a single animal. I was drawn to two. Equally. They were, you guessed it, the raven and the wolf. After studying a bit more, I discovered that these two animals share a lot of the same traits. Both highly intelligent, both life maters, and therefore fiercely loyal, both teachers, and both symbols of freedom. Their spiritual symbolism is very similar, too. They even share some of the same ancient gods, like Odin of Norse mythology. And the fact that I'm equally drawn to both of them doesn't mean that I have multiple personalities, although some who know me would likely vehemently argue with that statement. It means that I have multiple facets of a complicated personality.

So, there you have it. I am the Raven-Wolf. But I am so much more than that. When speaking of the old "elemental" symbols, I find myself drawn to fire. Of the Chinese elements, I'm equally drawn to wood and fire (or, at least I was last I checked; also, there's that multiplicity thing again...), so I guess the Chinese would term me as a burning brand. I have always been fascinated with fire. The creation of it, the practical application of it, or simply watching it do its job of consuming. Some ancient cultures even believed fire to be alive. It moves, it propagates, it breathes, it consumes. By those- almost alchemical- definitions, it very well could be, and I can really understand that. Not to mention the sheer pleasure that one derives from watching it. It is grace defined by chemical reaction. It is free, in its own right. It is beautiful, really, and one would be hard pressed to deny that, even as it ravages and destroys. I have always been utterly fascinated by the legend of Prometheus. A titan, he was spared the fate of some of his brethren when Zeus took over the cosmos. But that wasn't to last, as he defied Zeus and stole fire to give to man, pitying them their cold, earthly plight. For this he was severely punished. I like to imagine that he eventually escaped that rock to which he had been chained, that he was able to get away from the vulture that tormented him endlessly by eating his liver by day, leaving at night, and returning again by day to consume what had grown back. I see in Prometheus a tragic hero. He did what he felt was best, and was severely, perhaps unjustly, punished for it by the Powers-That-Be. So he took on a persona as a rebel, a freedom fighter. Not to mention his connection to fire.

So, there you see the three things, symbols, that define me, or, most nearly do. Ravens, wolves, and fire. Thinking of those things and the traits they symbolize, it wouldn't be easy for one to discern me, to see of what stuff I am made. Or, at least, a portion of it. I'm not sure what I hoped to accomplish with this blog, if anything. If nothing else, it'll help me to write, to get back in that habit and do it, to eventually get one of my many stories published. Mostly, I'm sure, I do it for me. Not to sound selfish, but this will help me get things out, off of my chest, as it were. Maybe whatever readers I attract, probably just family and close friends for the most part, can get something out of my ramblings, but who knows? I guess we shall see....